Male Empowerment

Recently, I’ve talked about the different ways your energy can emanate, particularly if you're in a leadership position. Today I’d like to discuss how masculine energy functions, and how it can work for and against you.


Masculine energy can be a powerful force for good, a unique vibration that invigorates and enlivens everyone around you. However, some masculine energies can be misdirected, coaxed into servicing a winner-takes-all approach that is unsustainable in the long run.


Some men feel an aggressive urge to compete at all costs, in their professional and personal lives. This ongoing drivenness to do or perform takes a psychic toll, because it doesn't account for every person's need for quieter, more contemplative moments. These are moments of reflection, a "time out" during which you can carefully consider the world around you and how to best approach it.


This kind of mindful reflection is an opportunity to truly see your unique destiny as it relates to the world, not just how your individual male ego can best be served by others. The un-enlightened among us will often accuse such acceptance and allowance as"un-masculine," but when an individual's masculine yang energy is untamed, it can never achieve the wholeness it so desires.


The ability to stop and reflect, and experience mindful gratitude, is not un-masculine. It is a powerful ability that some of the most successful male leaders have harnessed.


The CEO of Aetna, Mark Bertolini, is an example of a man who demonstrates positive male leadership in the right way through his daily mindfulness practice. Bertolini exudes confidence, knowledge and masculine power because he meditates on the important role he’s been given. He carefully considers the way he can best serve those who follow him, not how he can deplete all his resources in service to himself.


Not everyone has discovered Bertolini's secret. Some male leaders are overtly aggressive, competitive, and wish to take away other people's strength through emasculation. They segregate themselves from those who would otherwise support them. They care nothing for collective advancement, and their main goal is merely to protect their own frail ego from criticism.


It doesn’t have to be this way. Society as a whole can celebrate the life-affirming energies of great male leaders like Abraham Lincoln or Dale Carnegie, men who went against the grain to achieve their destinies. These were leaders who converted their masculine energies into a higher goal, who were also able to surround themselves with other people whose strengths were a complement to their own.


If you feel challenged in developing better leadership skills, and would like to learn how to balance your career and your personal life, let's have an exploratory phone calland see how a few skills from AmyD will create the peace you've been looking for.

Overcoming the “Paradox of Choice” Through Mindfulness

In this TED Talk from 2005, Barry Schwartz discusses some important points from his groundbreaking book The Paradox of Choice. The premise is that we’re wrong to believe that the maximization of choice is a crucial component of our ultimate freedom and overall wellbeing.

Schwartz’ argument boils down to this: More choices aren’t necessarily better than some choices. In a world where everything from our food, electronics, health, relationships, careers, and even our identity is subject to endless decision-making and variety, we tend to become paralyzed and can’t make any decisions at all. Even worse, we feel endless regret over a good choice we made, because we fall under the illusion that another choice would have been better than good. It would have been perfect. 

In the video, Schwartz also describes how endless decision-making takes up so much of our headspace that we have a hard time being present. Even a good decision to not take a work-related call during your child’s soccer game still fosters anxiety-related energy about the decision just made.

However, there is a way out of this vicious cycle of decision-making, paralysis, disappointment and regret. 

It’s called mindfulness.

Although we can'tcontrol the number of choices we’re faced with on a daily or even hourly basis, we can control the way we react to those choices. By living presently in the moment, we don’t have to feel paralyzed. We can approach the wide array of choices with a sense of adventure, playful risk, and curiosity about where our ultimate choice might lead us.

We also don’t have to feel regret or disappointment after we make our decision.The whole point of mindfulness is to draw your mind, body and spirit back into the present rather than re-hash the past, or anticipate that something better will come along in the future.

By remaining present to ourselves through mindfulness, we accept the here-and-now decision with joy, wonderment and gratitude. And if we discover that our choice was indeed a truly “bad” one, mindfulness allows us to accept that “bad” choice as an opportunity to learn from our mistakes and grow stronger because of them.

Schwartz is right that a world with too much variety and too many choices can make a person depressed or anxious. However, by cultivating a mindful attitude, you can avoid the pitfalls of living in such a world. In fact, you can create the kind of world you want to by being the positive reflection you want to see in your world.

If you’d like to learn more about mindfulness training and how it can serve you in your every decision, please visit my website for more information or email me at amy@amyd.me.

You can find true freedom and liberation from unhealthy, inhibiting mindsets. Find your clarity today!

First Impressions

You don't always get a second chance at making a good first impression. We’ve all heard that before. And that impression is formed in a very short amount of time. Seven seconds, to be exact. This sort of snap decision-making process is a prehistoric leftover from a time when quick situational judgments could mean the difference between life and death. And now the human brain is hardwired to make decisions in this manner. But, how long does it take to form a first impression? And how exactly are we being evaluated?

Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist at Harvard University, has been researching the phenomena of first impressions for over a decade. She has determined that people ask themselves two quick questions upon meeting a person for the first time. "Can they be trusted?" "Are they worthy of respect?" The answers to these questions are determined in a matter of seconds.

Most people are taught to trust their intuition when it comes to gauging people they first meet. In the business world these first impressions are tantamount to success. These impressions are largely based on nonverbal clues. In fact, research has indicated that nonverbal clues are four times more effective than anything you can say. What are some examples of nonverbal clues?

Posture- status and power are often conveyed by a person’s usage of space.

Attitude- people can instantly pick up on attitudes and energies. 

Facial expression- smile! Make sure the look on your face reflects the outcome you want from the situation.

Handshake- this can be an indication of confidence and professionalism.

Eye contact- if you cannot maintain eye contact people tend to think of you as shifty, nervous, or just downright rude.

There are many more nonverbal ways to make a first impression. Do you need help honing your nonverbal skills so you can make a lasting first impression? I can help you channel your inner awesomeness, so you will be sure to convey strength and confidence and increase your awareness and intuition for receiving your own first impressions. Just reach out to me at amy@amyd.me or visit my website, AmyD.me!

Harnessing your innate inner power will help you make an impact and achieve the results you deserve!